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What Indian men face when matrimonial cases are filed decades after marriage

In this article, we will discuss the plight of married men when they face fake matrimonial cases, decades after their marriage. Most of them are oblivious to what is coming for them, and are caught by nasty surprise. Many incidents are coming out where cases are being filed 10, 15 or even 20 years after marriage. This article describes what they will/are going through after they get cases after decades of marriages. Many men have this misconception that they will not face 498a after 7 years of marriage. They are horribly mistaken. Wife can file 498a anytime claiming she was harassed mentally or physically recently. 498a is a Domestic Violence Law, not a Dowry Harassment only law. This is already discussed here.

Maintenance is guaranteed

A wife who files a maintenance after 10+ years of marriage is guaranteed to get maintenance, even if she is the one who deserted her husband. Most Indian women quite job after 5-10 years of marriage and become full time housewives. This is extremely dangerous scenario for husbands. Courts grant interim maintenance almost instantly, thinking that the wife is a destitute and needs husband’s money to survive. So men are immediately screwed in DV Act or CrPC 125 or HAMA 18 or HMA 24 or SMA 36 sections. Maintenance is discussed in detail in this article.

Children almost always go with Mother

Child custody laws though neutral on paper, always favor women. When a Father is toiling at his workplace to provide for his family, his children are spending maximum time with their mother. When a case is filed 15-20 years of the marriage, they almost always go with their mother. Women also wait for their children to reach adolescence to file cases or get separated. This ensures the most difficult part of childhood is completed with the support of their husband, and then they can reap the rewards alone. So forget your children once your wife separates decades after marriage. In fact, there are many cases when children have betrayed Fathers in courts.

No Support from Parents or Family friends

If a man has to fight matrimonial cases at age of 40-45+, he gets almost no support from Parents or friends. At that age, everyone is busy with their own lives so they can’t spend much time with the man. Parents are also very old, and need attention and care from their son. So it becomes a lonely battle and most men give in to the demands of their wives just to have some peace. Imagine giving up almost everything you earned in your life to your wife just to have some peace? It is an extremely horrible situation.

Joint Property=GONE

If a man has done the biggest mistake of buying property on jointly with his wife, then it is as good as gone when wife files matrimonial cases. Courts will allow her to stay in that house, and she will make sure to take complete possession till the cases run for years. The man can file Recovery Suite or Declaration Suite, but those also run at their own snail’s pace, hardly yielding any results in the man’s favor. In fact, along with the Husband, his parents can also be thrown out of their own house under DV Act 2005. Recent Supreme Court ruling has made sure of that. Supreme Court has also said that Son is Son till marriage, but daughter remains daughter for life. However, courts never ask the Daughters to seek their rights from their parents. They take the property rights from her husband and in-laws and give it to her. So at age of 40+, the man has to search for a suitable rented accommodation for himself and his parents and also continue paying the monthly EMI for the house he “jointly” bought with his wife.

This judgement goes for a toss when a Daughter in Law seeks right to residence in her in-laws house

Wife from different city/state=Nightmare

If the wife belongs to a different city or state, then it is a huge nightmare. She will go to her parent’s house and file all the case in the court there. Supreme Court has already given full rights to women to file all cases from the place they reside, irrespective of where the matrimonial home was located. The husband will have to then travel to that city’s court regularly. Vast majority of Indian courts lack video conferencing facilities so only option is to attend the dates in person. Missing dates by the husband can lead to an atrocious Ex Parte order in favor of the wife. Traveling almost 4 days a month makes managing expenses almost impossible, and if the man has ailing parents then his life becomes a nightmare. Below is a latest news snippet about an Indian Army Soldier who is being harassed by his wife and is asking how can he serve the country when he has to travel regularly to fight cases. Such news are rarely covered by English media as most of them are hardcore Feminists or funded by Feminists.

Image
Soldier who is harassed by his wife saying whether he should travel to courts or serve country

Extra Trouble for NRIs

These laws are nightmare for NRIs. Imagine being a Green Card holder or even a Citizen in US, enjoying a plush IT Job, raking in the money, but losing everything because you committed the grave mistake of marrying an Indian woman? This is exactly what happens when wife suddenly decides to come back to India and file all available cases on Husband. The Ministry of External Affairs site itself suggests Indian women to file 498a on their husbands in case they are abandoned. So any woman is free to come back to India, and file 498a on their husbands claiming she was abandoned. The FAQ can be downloaded from here. Since almost all laws in Developed countries require evidence and punish false accusers, Indian women run back to India and enjoy the weapons given to them by India’s lethargic and ancient Judicial system.

Screengrab of FAQ from MEA website which suggests filing 498a to Indian women

Once FIR is filed, Police know that there is lot of money to be made from a NRI. Red Corner Notices are issued, passports are impounded. Basically a man loses everything if cases are filed in India. Only way to avoid this is to forget about India and live like a fugitive in foreign country. Also. lower courts are quick to grant huge maintenance to NRI husbands without considering the foreign currency expenses in respective countries. Overall, its a special kind of hell when a well settled NRI faces matrimonial cases in India. In fact, the notoriety of 498a is well documented on website of a New York Law Firm.

Conclusion

I have covered a few major pain points if a man faces fake cases in his 40s or decades after marriage. If you are man in your 40s, and you have a fear that your marriage may turn sour any time (always listen to your gut feeling), you have to start acting now to safeguard yourselves. You can seek help at MensRights.Net and hope for the best. Also a request to NRIs: PLEASE STOP MARRYING INDIAN WOMEN. This is for your own good.

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Why Indian men shouldn’t marry? Part 2: DV Act & CrPC 125

In the first part we covered how 498a can make life hell for married men in India. In Part 2, we will study how the two Civil/Quasi Civil cases can be used to make a married man’s life hell even further. I am clubbing these two together, as main incentive of both these cases is to absolutely exploit the married man financially till he completely breaks down. That being said, the recent Rajnesh Vs Neha Judgement by Indian Supreme Court has lowered the impact considerably when the wife is working or has worked before or is highly qualified. You can find more information about this on MensRights.net. But in case of Housewives/Homemakers, husbands are definitely screwed. We will now see how these both laws can screw up lives of married men by making them bonded slaves of wives for life.

Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005 (drafted by Feminist)

This law was drafted by a prominent Feminist lawyer in 2005, and became a law in 2006. Government and Feminists at that time felt that 498a wasn’t enough to harass the husband’s family, or they simply forgot that 498a exists, so they decided to gift this law to warring wives, who could afford a lawyer to file a court case. India is probably the only country in the world that has TWO DV laws for women. The DV Act case runs in Civil Court, and is quasi Civil in nature. It is a clumsily drafted law and is borderline unconstitutional, but hey, who cares as long as it overpowers women, right? The wife can file a case in Civil court under PWDVA 2005 against husband and his entire family. Her allegations need to be investigated by a Protection Officer, who needs to submit a DIR (Domestic Incident Report) after investigation. However, this process is rarely followed and clueless husbands are left on the mercy of their lawyers and judiciary.

Using this act, wives can demand below:

  • Right to Residence in Husband’s or Husband’s parent’s house
  • Interim and Permanent Maintenance (Free money)
  • Child Visitation (if by some miracle Husband has children with him)
  • Monetary Compensation

Again, almost all of this is provided as part of Interim Orders, which means none of the evidence is even considered. Domestic Violence itself is not clearly defined, as it includes physical, sexual, emotional and economic abuse. I have seen cases filed based on stuff like “I wasn’t given enough food”, “My mother in law taunted me” etc. When you keep such laws open to interpretation, misuse is bound to happen.

Right to Residence

This is the biggest pain point of DV Act 2005. Instead of creating DV Shelters for aggrieved women, Government and Judiciary decided it will best to provide shelter to women in the same home where she is facing the alleged Domestic Violence. So a woman can file a DV complaint, and apply for Right to Residence as Interim Relief in a house where she had a domestic relationship with her husband. This house can be her husband’s house or her in law’s house. And the Interim Orders are usually passed on 2nd or 3rd date of the court case. Earlier at least the Husband’s parent’s houses were safe, but now after this “landmark” (read biased) judgement by Indian Supreme Court a wife can take over any house she had a domestic relationship with the husband. The implications of these are huge, the elderly parents along with their son will be thrown out on streets, as usually it is impossible to live with their fake accuser Daughter In Law in the same household. There have been cases where families are living on rent and their Daughter In Law has taken over their entire multi-bedroom house for herself. So good luck owning a property in India if one wants to marry.

Interim Maintenance (Beg, Borrow or Steal)

Interim Maintenance is nothing but extortion. There is no Feminist in the world who can convince me that a woman who has means to file Civil court cases is unable to maintain herself. Wife makes tall demands like she is unable to survive, and puts on Interim Application to get hefty maintenance. Now the poor men have the misconception that well earning wife will never get maintenance as common sense dictates, but this is India. Here common sense has no place in courts. The Judges try their level best to grant ridiculous Interim Maintenance to wives, and then the wives simply stop attending the court dates. The cases then drag for years, and Husbands keep on paying monthly maintenance. Famous judgements have asked jobless husbands to Beg, Borrow or Steal, but pay maintenance to their wives. In some cases, men have died in jail for not paying maintenance, differently abled Husbands have been asked to pay maintenance to fully abled wife and physically challenged men have used crowdfunding to fund alimony. Indian Judiciary has no concept of “Durational Maintenance” which is a norm in developed nations, which makes sure wife gets a job instead of becoming a freeloader for life.

The Dreaded Ex Parte

Ex Parte is a legal concept in which if the Respondent (in this case Husband) doesn’t attend the legal proceedings, the court treats it as Ex Parte case and passes orders against him as per the requests of the Petitioner (wife). In most cases, the cunning wives give wrong address of the Husband, so that he doesn’t get the notice served and fails to attend the dates. This leads to the case becoming Ex Parte and the interim orders of exorbitant maintenance are passed, and husband doesn’t even know he owes money till he gets a notice about arrest warrant for not paying maintenance (notice is issued after wife files Execution petition, this time with correct address). In some cases, the eager Judges pass Ex Parte order even the husband and his lawyer miss a single date, because they have the habit of treating the Petitioner as their own daughter. During Covid pandemic, passing of such orders is rampant, as the women organizations and NGOs pressurized the Governments and Judiciary to pass rampant maintenance order to so called aggrieved wives. Obviously these orders can be set aside, but the mental agony and panic it causes to Husbands is unparalleled.

CrPC 125

CrPC 125 is one of those laws which considers women as infants who need support throughout their life. The very definition says that a girl needs to be maintained by the Father till she is unmarried, and post marriage she has to be maintained by her Husband. But Feminists will never protest against this law, like they did vs Adultery Law, because as long as Inequality benefits women, they are fine. In CrPC 125 as well, all maintenance atrocities like Interim Maintenance and Ex Parte apply. The real kicker is, wives file CrPC 125 as well along with DV Act, and get maintenance in both, so the husbands have to fight both cases. But at least now with Rajnesh Vs Neha judgement, courts are asking wives to submit details of all maintenance cases in Income Affidavit.

Conclusion

So, in conclusion, both these laws treat men as bonded labor and a slave for life. Men have to pay maintenance for life, even if the marriage lasted for only 1 day. There is no concept of Durational Maintenance in India, because we are still living in 1950s as per Judiciary. Recently, a woman filed a maintenance case on her husband who is suffering from cancer, and suggested that he should sell his kidney to give her money as he is going to die anyways. So unless men want to get exploited financially and loose their or their parent’s property, they shouldn’t marry. In the next part, we will cover Husband Murder and Dowry Death.

PS: If you are one the unfortunate men who are fighting cases, please head over to MensRights.Net and seek guidance.